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Madonna, Music, Musicals

Madonna the silent movie star?

Desperately seeking Madge?

Very few news stories genuinely make me hoot with laughter, but this one did and I thought it was worth sharing.

So apparently, good ol’ Lord Webber – king of musical marvellousness (ish) – has announced that he’s found the perfect person to play the role of forgotten silent movie star Norma Desmond from the 90’s musical / 1950’s film Sunset Boulevard (the original 1951 film is an awesome Billy Wilder classic with William Holden & Gloria Swanson… if you don’t know who any of those 3 people are, then shame on you).

 Yes, apparently Lord Webber, in his infinite wisdom, has decreed that Madonna would be awesome in the role. Although, according to the article (which you can read here), “Madonna isn’t returning my calls this time”. Yes, there’s a reason for that Andrew.

For those of you who haven’t seen the film or the musical, the role of Norma Desmond, a forgotten-movie-star-of-the-silent-era who’s planning a massive comeback,  is magnificently melodramatic one and one which requires the skill of ‘acting’.

When Gloria Swanson – herself a forgotten movie star of the silent era – played the role in 1951, she not only won an Oscar for best actress, but it also single handedly re-ignited her career. (Ironic).

Other notable ‘actresses-who-can-actually-act’ who have played the role include 5 time oscar-nominated talented lady Glenn Close. Who, whilst we’re at it, has also got BAFTAS, Emmy’s, Golden Globes and Screen Actor Guild Awards under her belt. Oh, and a Tony award for Best Actress for playing … yep, you guessed it, Norma Desmond.

Which kinda puts Madonna’s “best actress in a musical” Golden Globe award for Evita into context. Again, you can kinda see why she’s not returning Andrew’s calls. Note the quote in the interview when he referred to Madonna as “about the right age” to play to role. Would’ve loved to have seen Madonna’s face when she picked up that voicemail.  “Oh hi there Madge, am thinking about turning Sunset BLVD into a movie and wondering whether you’d be up for playing the aging, washed up movie star? After all, you’re about the right age”… Ha.

But the real reason for my hoot of laughter is simply the sheer mental image of Madonna being asked to act like this:


Or this:

Because I can’t help feel that the result would be more like this: 

And if you want a really big laugh, watch / listen to this and try to imagine her hitting that last note.

Anyway, hoot, hoot, hoot. I for one really hope this happens, though quite how Madonna-playing-Norma-Desmond can actually happen without the gay space-time continuum imploding is beyond me.

Hey, maybe Guy Richie could direct?? 😀



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